Choose & go, you're okay

Hellooo. Hi, here I am. Still alive and still inking. This is a letter to myself so I'm not allowed to be apologetic about jack shit. This is a challenge to myself, writing this. I haven't written something constructive in a long time. I mean I have however it's just rotted in the million phones I've been losing and for what? but anyways since this is to myself it will be very informal and this part I say because as the reader I'm trying to set a tone of no expectations. I haven't written in a long ass time and I'm tryna bring back that passionate writer out of me, I need her so much right now. Now more than ever. I've been bleeding elsewhere for too long and this time I have to try harder and let myself help myself.

You know what's crazy in this life? that your biggest enemy will always be yourself. If you go into depth with it you'll actually realize how scary the thought is. Like damn, I'm responsible for everything happens in my life. Whether it's good or bad, whether you asked for it or not. To be more clear with my statement I'll repeat this quote I always repeat to other people because it just seems to fit in so much. In everything actually and it goes "we don't choose the pain that's given to us however we are responsible for what we do with it". I'm pretty sure I heard this from Mark Manson's Subtle of not giving a fuck. A book about pain. A book of growth. But the thought is just crazy to me, that you are really your own limit. When you tell yourself you can't do something you really will not have the ability to do it but when you tell yourself the opposite, that you can do it and you actually take the leap of faith and dive right into it, you'll come to find that you're so capable of even the impossible. When you have set your mind to something and actually believe that you can do it there is absolutely nothing in this world that can stop it. Especially when you have one mission and one mission alone. Imagine you chose one path and one path alone, you didn't give yourself other options therefore you'll only be fixated at getting through that path cause even if you can't see the end of the path, surely you're aware that one way or another you have to get to the end. One way or another you have to. But only if you chose that one path, the one you really believe in and really want. Your future desires if God will grant if you ask. Walk that way and see what the universe has in store for you, something so much greater than what you initially asked for. However sadly, if you widen your options, give your self more options by wanting more and wanting more than you actually need you'll find yourself stuck if you currently feel stuck in your life. If you feel you're walking someone else's journey like that it shall be, and this is why protecting yourself and your energy is so important, so you don't wound up with pieces of people who aren't even there anymore. Stuck in your skin like splinters, splinters hurt you know, they are irritating and uncomfortable. Protect yourself, limit your options, know what you want and gravitate towards it with your own pace of moving and what the universe is allowing.

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

It's okay being by yourself, like this very moment. It's okay being alone with yourself, you don't need to be running away from your own thoughts really. You're killing yourself by doing that. If you keep running away from yourself then who's going to be the host? who's going to take care of you? you've got these invaders in there and you need to face all of them and show them that you're in control of your own home. They can't tell you what to do let alone chase you away. You're stronger than that, and you know you are so be it. Be what you were made to be. Let me tell you something folks, the most of what you think you could possibly be capable of but then doubt so much. Truth is, that's your truth. The strongest you think you could be is really how strong you are. Your potential is al up in your head but we just choose to lock it away because we're afraid of the unknown. And so we let the unknown dim our light, we actively give it permission. It never came to scare us, it never came to for us because it will always be in the future until revealed by you, only for you to find everything you've ever wished for on the other side of the unknown. What if it goes it all goes wrong? but what if it goes right? I'm sure you've heard this so many times in fact you've probably heard a lot of what I've said before. And if so, I'm only a messenger from God to remind you of it. To let you know that you can try as many times as you can until you die. That's the beauty of life, we have one life but we have unlimited tries, I really wish more people knew this before they gave up.