Your love and Intentions

Loving you held me down and kept me together, it gave me purpose and constantly inspired me to not give up on myself. Losing you over and again broke me only to water me like a plant. I grew painfully and awfully, being the cause of my own destruction and having you to love me regardless, from afar and from beneath my skin. I once struggled to fully put into words how much I love you, and never fully believed you when you told me you loved me just as much if not more. More, I still disagree with but the lengths of which your loves travels I really cannot fathom. You have loved me when it was hardest to do so, over and again so I had no business complaining about losing you. Yet, my soul groans uncomfortably at the absence of yours whilst my own unconditional love yearns to caress your tiredness, your strength trickling down your pretty face and your overloaded mind. You carry the weight of the world on your shoulders like a feather and handout kindness like you eat with Jesus Christ himself. I wish they knew that such a girl like you, seeming so small is an assigned light of the world. A blessed blessing. I wish they knew about your divine strength, how it's roots grow from under the soil so they can only see this beautiful fruitful tree. How blessed your family is and how proud your parents must be. How lucky was I for God to send you to play such a role in my growth, to stand side-by-side with you and see the world from the same eye.

I wish I could say "Baby listen, tell me when you're ready and I'm all yours." But I've come to find that, that's not how it's supposed to work. It has come to my attention that this time, I have lost you for the better good no matter how much my heart hurts. I do not know if I am losing you for good or only lost the part of you I want most, all of you. But I do know that in who I am striving to become I cannot help but use the thought of you as my motivation. I mean, I couldn't be perfectly imperfect with any one else and I have never met someone who so fluently speaks my mind and translates my soul so effortlessly.

I miss you, you and your good intentions. I often catch myself lost between memories of your delicate love, or shall I say this is the memoir of my conscious soul entangled in your world. You are the brush and I, the paint on the canvas. Destiny yearning to be Fate. "Unrequited feelings; if you want something really badly, set it free, if it comes back it's yours forever, if it doesn't, it was never yours to begin with." and Darcy said "One once lost is lost forever."

The contradictory keeps me up at night yet the thought of you keeps me company. I am caught between my deep affection and the lessons of a broken heart. I am torn between choosing you and chasing forever as long as it gets me to you. My own intelligence threatens to show me a life where I am not intoxicated by your very smile whilst my ultimatum perpetually dooms me to your attachment, my soul bound to yours, to love and protect, guide in benevolence with effortless oath to be yours forever and always. There's this song that sounds like the chords to my heart and it plays every single time when I see you, subconsciously or not, it goes 'there goes my heart beating', and as my eyes drown in yours I am reminded that I'd climb every mountain and swim every ocean just to be with you. The world may end over and over again but it is my heart's devotion to fix what I've broken and I'll never let you go again like I did therefore I vow to never fall again unless it's you I fall into, Georgia because you know what, we both know for a fact I was lost into the darkness until I found you. I love you, unwaveringly and unconditionally and my love for you moves me through the walls. My love for you is a force that could move mountains, there is nothing in this world more powerful. As strong as my love may appear, you have no idea how delicate it all is, molded and crafted to love you the same way my hands fall perfectly onto your waist. I watch my face as your pupils dilate as if I'd gotten a glimpse of everything good.